BLT4ever

You guys may recall a blog of mine recently where I talked about my sister in law, Rochelle, who had gastric bypass and has since had multiple complications that have led to her becoming an anorexic diabetic, regardless of how she tried and tried to eat and take good care of herself.  In my last update I talked about how she was having a feeding tube put in the following day.  Well, it’s going so-so now.  They put the feeding tube in her right arm but it has caused her to have blood clots (I’m not sure how), so they’re going to insert one into her left arm tomorrow and take the other one out.  They’ve got her on blood thinners now, too.  While this all sounds bad, there is some good to go along with it.  One, they took x-rays of her lungs because apparently the condition she is in now can cause fluid to form in the lungs and the x-rays showed her lungs to be clear.  Also, she has gained 8 lbs. in the last nine days!  This is GREAT news, as up until now she just continued to lose weight and was getting dangerously close to 100 lbs.  The doctors are worried that when she is taken off the feeding tube in approximately two weeks, that the weight will start dropping again.  But, for now, it’s time to focus on the good!  She is allowed to eat regular foods and is doing the best she can, but can eat very little before she is full.  They’ve got her on a high carb and high protein diet, but she can only eat around 3 ounces of food at a time and it’s unsure right now of whether or not her stomach is actually digesting the food.  But hey, she’s getting there!  Please do continue praying for her.  Prayer really does change things!

I got GREAT news from my husband today!  He is coming home a week earlier than we had been planning on!!!!  He’s due home on the 10th now, rather than the 17th!  WOOOHOOO!!!!!  That also happens to be our 12 year old sons’ 13th birthday….what better present to ask for?  hehe

There were a few times where it seemed like the year he was gone would never end.  But those time were few and far between really.  Overall, I am incredibly thankful as to how the time has gone by fairly fast.  There are moments where I am surprised to think that I am already here in time, awaiting his homecoming day. 

I had wanted to get below 200 lbs. before he comes home, and I just don’t know if that is going to happen.  I think it pretty unlikely.  BUT, I’m almost there…I did my Friday morning weigh in for the Wildcats team and was pleasantly surprised to see a 3 lb. loss!  WOOHOO!!!  So, I’m currently at 204 now.  I’m not going to move the tracker though, not until my personal weigh in on Sunday morning.  God willing, I’ll be down to 203 by then…not counting on it…but rather, hoping on it.  Still….to get below 200 within the next ten days thereabouts…I’m going to have to fight hard! 

My Sensei used to be a body builder and a personal fitness trainer.  He went over a weeks worth of my food journal for me and then this last Tuesday he made some suggestions for me.  I have been following them faithfully and I think that has a lot to do with my successful weigh in this morning.  The hardest part of following his suggestions was to stop counting calories.  He does not want me counting calories, he instead wants me counting protein grams.  He’s got me eating fresh fruits and vegetables, chicken, turkey, tuna, egg whites, cottage cheese, oatmeal, whole grain breads, brown rice, peanut butter….things like that.  He wants me to bring in three days worth of my food journal on Monday so that he can go over it again, after I’ve implemented the changes he suggested.  He’s a great guy to be doing this for me; it’s not like I pay him to be my personal trainer, but he and his wife are such kind and caring people.

He said he’s never recommended that people count calories because that often leads people to eating too many processed foods, which should be eaten only in moderation.  He says we need to have high protein from lean foods, because that is what builds muscle.  There is a common misconception among most people…we tend to think that we build muscle when we work out.  That is not true.  When we work out, we actually tear and break our muscles.  The ONLY time our muscles are built is when they repair while we are sleeping and the protein we eat matters greatly in how well the repair job is done.  So, that is why he’s got me eating lots and lots of protein.  No, I’m not going to bulk up…it takes incredible amounts of protein for anyone to bulk up, let alone women. 

I have been under orders this week to not weigh myself at all.  My husband says I get to stressed about it (he’s right) and he told me to stay away from the scale until Sunday.  I did tell him though, that I need to weigh in for the Wildcats on Friday mornings.  It’s been hard, staying away from the scale!  I can hear it calling out to me periodically throughout the day!

So, things have been going really well.  I’ve been eating healthy, and truly enjoying it…even though it’s been a little weird not counting calories and not weighing myself every day.  My 6 am boot camp classes have been AWESOME…my runs and evening workout classes have been AWESOME…I’m feeling 100% on track, strong, and very happy with how things are going. 

 The butterflies are back!!!  :o)

I just got back from a run and I ran four miles!!!!  Yep - you read that right!!!!  FOUR MILES!!!  This was my goal to do by April, but as I was out there running tonight, I was feeling so good I said what the hell and just did it.  I really could’ve ran further even.  I bet I had another mile in me…it felt that damn good.  But, my sons karate class was over, as was my daughters cardio class and they were ready to go home.  I’m going to set my April running goal to 6 miles now instead, actually, gonna make that 6.2 miles so that I can run a 10k. 

A lot of you haven’t known me the whole time I’ve been here at Buddyslim, so you have no idea what all this means to me.  When I first started out, weighing 338 lbs., there was very little I could physically do.  I started out walking slowly.  It took me 12 minutes to walk .4 of a mile and then I’d sit and take a 5 minute break before getting up and walking another .4 of a mile.  At that point I didn’t even dare dream of ever RUNNING that .4 of a mile, let alone TEN of them!!!   I guess what I am trying to say is to never, never, never give up!  If I can do this…if I can come so far, anyone can.  I feel so good, happy and am excited about what is yet to come in my journey.  I feel so ALIVE!   

So after church the kids and I went out to lunch at BJ’s restaurant and brewery.  When our waitress found out why we were there she brought us out a free pizookie, which had to have been one of the most delicious things I’ve had the pleasure of eating.  I’m not feeling guilty about it because there were four spoons and the kids and I shared it.  If it had been any other day rather than my off day, I’d be crying from the guilt!  lol  I got the chicken fried steak, which wasn’t a good choice really, but I didn’t eat much of it at all.  I traded my left over mashed potatoes with my daughter for her left over veggies (omg those were some good veggies), and we brought our left overs home and ate them later for dinner.  So, I’m sure that the total calories in that meal and dessert reside somewhere in the 2000-2005 range, but that is all I ate for the entire day and it was my off day.  So, I’m okay with it. 

 When we got home we watched my wedding video (todays sermon at church was about marriage so it got us to wanting to watch it).  That was fun, and the first time my 7 year old had ever seen it.  After that we watched a DVD I made three years ago by putting together a bunch of pictures to different songs and added in quotes here and there that were fitting…that DVD turned out really, really good.  I gave one to all of our aunts and uncles for Christmas that year and I’ve had many requests for more.  I haven’t made another one though…kind of afraid that it wouldn’t turn out as good as the first.  Anyway, after watching that we then watched the DVD a friend made of my 12 year old sons black belt test back in October.

It was a very good day.

Started out the week good by going to my 6 am boot camp workout class.  Today we worked on arms and abs.  We used our push up bars to do a multitude of various different push ups that I never thought I could accomplish.  Wish I could remember the names of them all…it was amazing to learn that there are so many variations lol.  My instructor is leading class at the dojo tonight, too.  He doesn’t recommend that we take both the morning and evening class because it is pretty much an identical class.  But, we are welcome to do both if we want to.  So, I might just take the class tonight too.  I’ve got to be at the dojo for my sons class at the same time, and my daughter will be taking the boot camp class this evening.  Not sure though…if my muscles are sore from this morning, which so far they really aren’t, I’ll run around that empty lot outside instead.  Either way, I’ll be getting in another good workout. 

Yeah, I had wanted more.  I wanted to lose 3-4 lbs.  But, hey…1 lb gone is 1 lb gone.  We gotta be thankful for the small loses, right along with the bigger loses.  Because hey, it is still a loss.  Found this poem about it, that I wanted to share because it is pretty cool:

One Pound of Fat

Hello! Do you know me? If you don’t, you should.
I am ONE POUND OF FAT, and I am the happiest pound of FAT that you would ever want to meet!

Want to know why? It’s because no one ever wants to lose me! After all, I am only ONE POUND OF FAT. Just ONE POUND. Everyone wants to lose 3 or 5 or 15 pounds, but never ONLY one.

So, I just stick around and happily keep you. Then I am free to add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice…

That is, until I have grown to 10, 20 or even 30 pounds in weight…

YES… it is fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT… left to do just as I please.

So, when you weigh in, go ahead… just keep on saying, “Oh I only lost one pound.” (As if that is so terrible.) For you see, if you do this, you will encourage others to hang around me because they will think that I am not worth losing.

And I LOVE being around you… your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips, and every other part of you. HAPPY DAYS! After all, I am ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!

—author unknown—

In the immortal words of Nancy (Khmerbeauty)…I’m doing the bootie dance!

Sometimes it drives me mad that this past year has been spent with me looking forward to the passing of time.  But, even in wanting for the time to go fast, I still made the most out of every day that I was given.  I am so excited and greatly looking forward to February getting here, as it is one big step to the imminent homecoming of my hubby! 

Had a GREAT morning so far.  Got up and went to my karate class, which on Saturday mornings is a grappling class, where we wrestle.  That was a GREAT workout.  Following that class I transitioned right into my Saturday morning cardio class there at the dojo.  It felt soooo good getting in two such workouts back to back.  I love it when that happens.  Before leaving the house, I had my usual protein bar for breakfast, and of course brought my 64 oz. mug to class with me filled with fresh water.  That thing follows me everywhere I go, so that I always have fresh cold water to drink.  After getting home, I took my shower and I made myself what is currently my favorite meal.  It consistes of 3/4 cup of egg substitute, 2 oz. canned mushrooms, 1/2 an avocado and 1/4 of a tomato all scrambled up together…..so delicious!  I have one piece of toast with this and instead of using butter or margarine I use the margarine spray that has 0 calories.  I’ve been told that I should go with real butter so as to stay away from the chemicals, and I will eventually do that, but for now I am focusing on keeping those calories to a minimum. 

I am ready for a nap! 

We’re having a cold (for here…it’s about 55) and wet weekend…which is of course, perfectly conducive to a most awesome power nap. 

So, I’m off for now.  Will come back on later to check in and get to some blog reading.  Hope all is well with everyone!

On Sunday the 25th, I will be celebrating my fourth year of being a quitter.  I quit smoking on January 25, 2005 after having smoked for 22 years.  I had quit each time I was pregnant, and tried quitting many times when I wasn’t pregnant but never could do it.  Until the day that I decided to just do it cold turkey.  It was very, very, very hard….but I did it.  It took a lot of prayer, a lot of stress and frustration.  Hardest thing I’ve ever done….

Anyway, my husband is now trying to quit smoking before he comes home.  He’s been smoking now for 26 years and he’s tried quitting many, many times, all to no avail.  He’s tried everything it seems.  This time though, he is taking Zyban.  It’s a part of a new program the military has, along with smoking cessation classes.  So, after this long introduction, I am wondering if any of you reading this has ever used Zyban.  Or if anyone you know has used it.  I’m wondering how good the stuff is.  I’m going to do some research on the internet about it, but thought it’d be nice if I could get any first hand experience from you all here. 

Had a good day as far as eating right and getting in my workouts go.  Went and did a little clothes shopping with my daughter today, too.  Got me an outfit to wear when the hubby comes home.  I think it looks pretty good.  Got some gray Dockers slacks and a silky gray blouse.  Will have to put it all on and have my daughter take a pic.  It was so fun shopping, now that I no longer have to shop in special stores or sections!  I was really hating how my rotund stomach looked in some clothes though.  It is hard sometimes to remember how very far I’ve come…when I see that ugly round belly showing through some clothes.  Oh how I can hardly wait for the day that my belly is flat and no longer round!

And I’ll have a husband at home again after just over a year!!!

I actually get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it.  I adore him, always have, and can’t wait to have him back in my daily life physically.  These days I think of it too often, which makes time seem to slow…that isn’t good, but what can I do?!?!? It’s funny how fast the weeks usually fly by for me these days.  But this last one has practically slowed to a crawl.  It’s the butterflies, I tell ya.

I’ve not had an update on my sister in law, but will let you guys all know as soon as I know something.  I still don’t know what to do about my 12 year old son and his grades.  Tomorrow is the last day of the trimester and he wasn’t really able to bring them up in the short amount of time that he was given.  I was unaware with how bad his grades were until about two weeks ago and I put him on weekday restriction and had him do work.  Two of the three teachers who are giving him an F refused to give him any extra credit work or anything.  Very much not cool, but so near the end of the trimester there is little I can do.  I think that alot of what he is going through is common for a boy his age though, especially for one whose father has been gone the past year.  So, I think that what I am probably going to do is allow him to finish up the year in this school and then go from there.  If his grades improve, I’ll let him stay in and if they don’t, we’ll home school him at the beginning of the next school year. 

Had a bit of a frustrating day yesterday, concerning my other son who is in a public school.  As the trimester is ending, they’re giving out awards in school today.  Noah is in the 2nd grade and is doing 3rd grade math work and yet the teacher chose not to give him an award for it.  He’s never not gotten an award for math before and I wanted to know why she chose not to give him one so I talked to her about it.  No…I don’t want to be known as the parent who complains…but you know, if you don’t stand up for an injustice you see being done to your child, who will?  She said that she is only allowed to give out 6-8 awards for subjects, best in math, best in reading…things of that nature, and that she chose two other children who are also doing good in their 2nd grade math who she believes should be acknowledged too.  Well, that’s all fine and well…I think that they should be awarded.  But so should my child who is doing math a full grade level higher then where he should be.  That should be recognized!  It is wrong that they base the awards given out on a numerical limit rather then basing it on merit!  I called the school, wanting to file a formal complaint (I have never done anything like this before) in the hopes that the rule can be changed.  Please believe me, I do not think that awards should just be handed out willy nilly, and that is kind of my point…they should be handed out to those who are excelling AND to those that may not be excelling but are working to their best. 

I’m good though…thanks be to you all and buddyslim itself for being here so that we can all vent our stresses as they come.  I can’t tell you how thankful I was that last night was kickboxing night at the dojo!!!  hehe No better way for stress relief that a fabulous workout that includes punching and kicking a heavy bag repeatedly!!!

I hope that you all who happen to be reading this are having a blessed and happy day!

With my 6 am boot camp cardio/strength training classes!  I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person.  So the fact alone that I am getting out of bed each morning at 5:15 is phenomenal!  We are at the dojo indoors on Tuesdays and Thursdays…outside at some basketball courts on Mondays and Wednesdays.  This morning we were outside at the basketball courts, working our shoulders when it started raining.  Wow..that was so much fun!  We were out there whooping it up in the rain and loving it!

Tonight is kickboxing at the dojo.  That’s always a most excellent workout.  I’m going to be exhausted tonight!  Will get home in time to shower and plop myself down on the couch in front of the tv to watch “Lost”.  We’re so excited about that starting up again! 

So far this week the weight just is not coming off.  I’m eating good, spot on with my food intake and exercise.  So, not much more I can do other then to just keep on keeping on.  My nearly 13 year old son is doing very poorly in the public school he is in right now.  So bad, that he is currently getting 3 F’s.  I am at wit’s end with what to do with the boy.  He doesn’t want me to homeschool him, as he will be missing hanging out with his friends, but oh well.  Now I’ve got to decide, do I let him finish out the year here at the public school, or begin homeschooling him ASAP.  Decisions, decisions.  I wish he would just get his act together and do well in school so that I wouldn’t have to homeschool him.  But I simply cannot seem to motivate him to pay attention to his school work. 

Keep On Keepin’ On

If the day looks kinder gloomy
And your chances kinder slim,
If the situation’s puzzlin’
And the prospect’s awful grim,
If perplexities keep pressin’
Till hope is nearly gone,
Just bristle up and grit your teeth
And keep on keepin’ on.

Frettin’ never wins a fight
And fumin’ never pays;
There ain’t no use in broodin’
In these pessimistic ways;
Smile just kinder cheerfully
Though hope is nearly gone,
And bristle up and grit your teeth
And keep on keepin’ on.

There ain’t no use in growlin’
And grumblin’ all the time,
When music’s ringin’ everywhere
And everything’s a rhyme.
Just keep on smilin’ cheerfully
If hope is nearly gone,
And bristle up and grit your teeth
And keep on keepin’ on.

Some of you may remember me talking about her  a few days ago.  She had the surgery done a year and a half ago and it’s been a nightmare ever since.  She was rushed to the hospital a few weeks back, she had passed out and her blood sugar level was at 32, she was lucky to be alive and was near to being in a diabetic coma.  She is not diabetic, by the way, she is malnutritioned because her stomach does not work properly any more.  She is anorexic now, physically, not mentally.  She tries to eat, but it doesn’t matter what she does because the food either goes out her body via bowel movement, or it leaks through her stomach into her abdomen if it is liquid enough.  Vitamins won’t work either, not liquid or pill form.  Nothing has been working, so they performed another surgery, her sixth since the gastric bypass was done, and tried to repair her stomach.  They took some of her intestines out because they were so far gone to mush due to the malnutrition.  Well, there was hope that this would be the last surgery, but things aren’t looking good.  The surgery apparently didn’t do what it was supposed to do and she continues to lose weight.  Tomorrow they’re going to be putting a feeding tube into either her neck or arm.  They’re going to try the arm first and if that doesn’t work, they’ll put it into her neck. 

Please, if anyone reading this is considering the surgery, or if you know someone who is considering getting the surgery done….reconsider.  This surgery is abused and it should not be given to people unless as a last resort.  It IS possible to lose weight without it.  Don’t take the “easy” way out!  Even if the surgery goes well, you still have to learn how to eat right and exercise or it just comes right back on.  A little bit of hard work never killed anyone.  But the surgery has killed plenty.