One day at a time?
Sorry I’ve not written in a few days. It’s been a rough few days. Some of you may remember that a few months back my husband and I had to make a decision about whether or not to go for a promotion to CWO-5 that would send us to Okinawa for two years. It’s not a good time in our lives to go to Okinawa so my husband wrote a letter to the board asking them to overlook him. Well, a few days ago the board came out and we found out that he would NOT have had to go to Okinawa after all. It’s a long, convoluted story that I really don’t feel like getting in to…suffice it to say that I am supremely depressed about this. It’s bad enough that he has to be in Iraq for 13 months sacrificing so much, and now this. He’s been extremely successful in his career and based off of some misinformation we were given, he had to go against everything he’s ever done to succeed and ask the board to overlook him for promotion. That was so hard for him to do, but we felt it was the right thing to do…because we can’t undergo a transfer to Okinawa at this point in time, which turns out to be a non issue after all. My heart breaks for my husband and it makes me miss him even more then usual and we still have almost four months to go before he comes home. On top of all of this I am PMS’ing and in spite of it all I am trying to do my best to hang in there. But I gotta admit, it’s not going all that well. I had a total screw it all attitude earlier and had a fast food burger. 
I will pull myself up out of this, I WILL…but I am kinda wallowing here.
I did make my goal for drinking all my water today…so at least there’s that lol. I did go to the dojo early to get in a half an hour of karate practice before my hour long kickboxing class. I’m not losing weight right now, I know it. Partly due to PMS’ing but also due to not working out with my usual intensity and I am not eating good either. We prayed so hard to God for guidance on this one and got none. The only message I ever heard was that whichever we chose, God would be there to take care of us always and we need not fear. Why can’t he just give us a shout out sometimes? Seems to me that He could have at least made clear how the decisions were to be made on who got orders to where.
Tomorrow is my daughters 18th birthday! We’re just going to have a special lunch with her favorite foods (why do we always celebrate with foods lol) and her boyfriend is taking her out to dinner. Next week I am taking her to get her first tattoo! She’s designed it herself and is really cool. I will have to scan it and post it for you all to see. I’m thinking of getting a new one too. It’d be fun for us to get tattooed together. We also are going to look into renting a beach cottage down at the base (Camp Pendleton). She’s always wanted to do that. Wow - 18 years ago I became a mom for the first time! Ironic thing about it is that my husband was gone then too…he was in Iraq for the first Gulf war. Left when I was seven months pregnant. Came home when our daughter was just under six months old. He has spent so much time in Iraq it’s not even funny. I’m just ready for him to come home.
UGh…Well…One think I have learned about you is that you WILL bounce back…
I think every now and then it is just fine to wallow for a minute…A pity party if you will. As long as it doesnt drag on for days.
It is easy for sadness, life, lonliness to control us. TOO easy…So we must fight it with all we have in us…
So celebrate the life of your daughter…The gift of a a husband who loves you and has devoted most of his life to his country. And start planning for that welcome home for him…
Imagine his face when he sees his wife is soooo much smaller than when he last saw her…use that motivation girl to pull yourself out of the muck!!!!!
Good luck lady bug!
Sorry the PMS monster is attacking you.
Not good! You will get past it. And you are right, God is always with you…I find when He is quieter…He is calling me closer to Him for some extra special snuggle time with Him.
You will get past this in a Hooo-rah way!
Love you sweet lady…take it easy on you…and know that you are in HIs hands!
Chrisie
Catrina I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down in the dumps right now
I’m praying for you & the safe return of your hubby. I hope your daughter has a wonderful bday. A new tattoo is my reward for reaching my goal in May lol. Sending you virtual hugs today. Stay strong (((BIGHUGS)))
My darling Friend, First let me say, I’ve taken the pill you have posted on this blog. Once in a while, we have to take that pill just so we can deal with what’s bothering us.
Second, I’m sorry God was silent to you. We never know His purpose or intentions but He never means us harm or intentionally makes us suffer. I guess like a good parent, He listens to us but allows us to make our own decisions. It’s frustrating and crazy when He is silent. It’s like, we want to hear His voice in a major way and He just stands by.
Your tatoo expedition with your daughter sounds like fun. I love tatoos and piercings. I know someday my daughters and son will want one or the other (or both) and I want to be a part of their experience. I’m planning to get another tattoo soon. Enjoy your special day with your daughter. Hey and no worries. Your hub is still appreciated and he will be blessed for a promotion. He’s deserving for sure.
Hey it is good to get it off your chest. I really do respect your heart and soul in doing such a fantastic job of raising your kids. Truly you are the coolest! You are in a funk but you will get out of this, we all know it. After all you found Fukitol and now that has got to be the greatest pharmaceutical invention ever!!! Hehe…
Seriously, my heart goes out to you…. *hopes for your sweetie to be home as soon as possible*
Take care Catrina. *hugs*
Oh Catrina, my heart aches for you…I am sitting here so teary eyed and feeling helpless—I wish there was SOMETHING, ANYTHING I could do to make it a little better. Something you said really jumped at me—about praying on the decision that you were to make—-you know, I’ve always admired your faith and have asked you for guidance in developing the kind of close relationship you have with God. The thing is Catrina, that you and I both know, that sometimes God says no for a reason—we may not know for YEARS what that reason is—and one day it suddenly hits us and we say, THANK YOU FATHER FOR NOT GIVING INTO MY REQUESTS, the way you and your husband have done with your children. Right now it seems unfair that your husband passed on a promotion that could’ve been so good for him and the family, but maybe, just maybe God has other plans, better plans for you guys. Hang in there and don’t lose your sense of faith—it has carried you through so much through the years and continues to do so now that your hubby is so far away—hang in there my friend.
Now….moving on to more cheerful things—birthdays—happy 18th to your baby—that’s a big birthday to celebrate! I can’t believe you’re supporting the tattoos—my mom would kill me even now if she found out I was getting one!! And I’m 34 years old!! Hahaha!! You are a cool mom!! Of course, having tattoos yourself makes it easier for you to accept your daughter’s desire to get one—-personally, I love tats, wish I had gotten one, but now that I am older I realize maybe I would be regretting my choice about now!! Hhaah!! I wanted to get a Mickey Mouse tat and a tiger with a tribal band on my lower back—-the other thing that stopped me besides my mom’s threats that she would scrape it out with a knife—-was my HUGE fear of needles. Hahahha!! And don’t think my mom’s violent—she’s the sweetest woman who’s ever lived, but she really didn’t want me to get tats and piercings—she’s a bit old school!
Anyway—I pray that you feel better soon and if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen—you know how to reach me!!
Well that did it…between your blog and mine..i’m in tears…I have had my own pity party going on right now…I have had pms for 8 very long days and its just making me crazy..so girl..I can very well relate.
I wished I was there…I would give you a hug and we could cry together at a pity party for two. Love Debbie
Sending love and hugs your way…Im sorry for what you are dealing with. As for the job issue…sometimes we just dont get let in on the why’s and sometimes we do…but we know that God works all things for good…hope you do get to “see” what the reason was. Keep holding on girl!
Hey Woman! I am totally sending love and hugs your way, I can’t imagine how this must feel for you! Sweet Jesus Lady, you handle it with such grace! Take the Fukitol Pill when ever you need to! I’m just getting caught up on the rest of your blogs… know you are admired and loved!