BLT4ever

Yesterday my daughter and I walked up this HUGE hill that is known in this area as a make it or break it kind of deal. I am SOOOOO damn excited that I did it!!!! I’m incorporating it into my every day routine now. Going to walk up that bad boy every Wednesday and Friday now. What a workout! I’m going to have to see if I can get some good pics of it to post here. Afternoon, I got in forty minutes of strength training on my gym. Then had my karate class in the evening. You know, every class I go away thinking, “that was the funnest class yet!” I just love it…I hope I always feel that way about it. At least until my three year contract is up.

Won’t do a thing if you’re not eating correctly….and I am living proof that this is true.  I am an exercise fiend.  Am so active now it’s silly.  I workout three hours a day at least.  Starting in the mornings with 40 minutes of strength training using my Hoist gym machine in the garage.  Do at least 100 crunches and push ups a day.  Run or walk, depending on the day, for an hour.  Get in an hour of cardio doing either kickboxing or karate, again, depending on the day.  I have not stopped this routine yet I have managed to gain weight yet again this last week.  Because I have been depressed, stressed and had the screw it all attitude.  I ate like a maniac and let my stress and depression take over, rather than the winning attitude I have come so used to possessing this past year.  It only goes to prove that exercise AND a proper diet really do go hand in hand.  I have been on the other side of the spectrum also.  Where just eating right and not exercising wasn’t giving me any losses.

Anyway, I am super pissed at myself for how I’ve handled things this last week and am ready to turn that anger into something productive now.  Starting today and going through until February, I AM back!  I have basically taken the frikkin’ month of October off and am pissed at myself for it.  Yeah, I got my workouts in religiously and I did have a good week the week before last, where I had lost 4 of the 5 lbs I had gained the previous week.  But then with the stuff with my husband, and my getting so depressed over it and missing him…I just completely lost it and put 6 lbs back on again!  I am sick and tired of lounging around in the 210’s and have HAD ENOUGH!  I know what it takes to lose weight and it’s not that damn hard.  It’s simple really.  More energy out then energy in.  Simple.

Winning attitude will help keep it all in balance.  Having a winning attitude means not letting everyday stressed get to you.  From here on out, when the bad thoughts come in…I’m forcing them right back out again.

Gotta go!  Time to take my 7th grader to school and then me and my two oldest whom I homeschool are going for a run!

Sorry I’ve not written in a few days.  It’s been a rough few days.  Some of you may remember that a few months back my husband and I had to make a decision about whether or not to go for a promotion to CWO-5 that would send us to Okinawa for two years.  It’s not a good time in our lives to go to Okinawa so my husband wrote a letter to the board asking them to overlook him. Well, a few days ago the board came out and we found out that he would NOT have had to go to Okinawa after all. It’s a long, convoluted story that I really don’t feel like getting in to…suffice it to say that I am supremely depressed about this. It’s bad enough that he has to be in Iraq for 13 months sacrificing so much, and now this. He’s been extremely successful in his career and based off of some misinformation we were given, he had to go against everything he’s ever done to succeed and ask the board to overlook him for promotion. That was so hard for him to do, but we felt it was the right thing to do…because we can’t undergo a transfer to Okinawa at this point in time, which turns out to be a non issue after all. My heart breaks for my husband and it makes me miss him even more then usual and we still have almost four months to go before he comes home. On top of all of this I am PMS’ing and in spite of it all I am trying to do my best to hang in there. But I gotta admit, it’s not going all that well. I had a total screw it all attitude earlier and had a fast food burger. I will pull myself up out of this, I WILL…but I am kinda wallowing here.

I did make my goal for drinking all my water today…so at least there’s that lol. I did go to the dojo early to get in a half an hour of karate practice before my hour long kickboxing class. I’m not losing weight right now, I know it. Partly due to PMS’ing but also due to not working out with my usual intensity and I am not eating good either.  We prayed so hard to God for guidance on this one and got none.  The only message I ever heard was that whichever we chose, God would be there to take care of us always and we need not fear.  Why can’t he just give us a shout out sometimes?  Seems to me that He could have at least made clear how the decisions were to be made on who got orders to where.

Tomorrow is my daughters 18th birthday! We’re just going to have a special lunch with her favorite foods (why do we always celebrate with foods lol) and her boyfriend is taking her out to dinner. Next week I am taking her to get her first tattoo! She’s designed it herself and is really cool. I will have to scan it and post it for you all to see.  I’m thinking of getting a new one too.  It’d be fun for us to get tattooed together.  We also are going to look into renting a beach cottage down at the base (Camp Pendleton).  She’s always wanted to do that.  Wow - 18 years ago I became a mom for the first time!  Ironic thing about it is that my husband was gone then too…he was in Iraq for the first Gulf war.  Left when I was seven months pregnant.  Came home when our daughter was just under six months old.  He has spent so much time in Iraq it’s not even funny.  I’m just ready for him to come home.  

I have just found out about a program called “Knit One, Save One” and wanted to share this information with you all so that you too can participate if you’d like.  It is put on by Savethechildren.org and basically it just involves knitting or crocheting caps for newborn babies in need here in the USA and around the world.  I’ve never been involved with this organization before, but it seems like a very worthy cause and I know from experience that knitting caps for newborns and premies is one of the simplest, easiest things to do.  It also helps keep us from overeating!!!  If you’re interested, check out the link here: “Knit One, Save One”

As for my weight loss, those pesky five pounds are coming off again, but not as quickly as I’d like.  I weighed in on October 5th weighing 210 and it just sucks that here we are on the 17th and not only do I not weight less than I did on the 5th, I actually weigh a little bit more!  Weighed in this morning at 213.  Well, at least it isn’t 215 anymore, right!?!?!  lol  Will wait to change my tracker until Sunday’s weigh in though.  Praying all the while that I can take another pound or two off in the mean time lol.  TOM is due to arrive on Tuesday.  He’s usually pretty prompt, so I imagine that the closer I get to that day, the less likely it is that I am going to lose good.  But it’s okay, I am ON TRACK and going the right direction again!  So, WOOHOO for that!  Been exercising good this week, and eating good too.  Went on a three mile run today with my freind Melissa.  She’s a good running partner for several reasons.  One, she has been a regular runner for the past year and half or so, and can run a good five or six miles at a go…and two, she makes for good company chatting.  I like the talking as it does take my mind off the run itself, you know?  But, I do also like running alone too.  Hell, running however, it’s just plain GREAT!  Wow!  The feeling I get after running three miles is just indescribably awesome!

Between missing my husband and being a bit depressed about gaining 5 lbs. even though I wasn’t “bad” over the weekend, I ate and ate snack foods last night.  I know that 5 lb. gain most likely wasn’t a real gain because I didn’t eat over 15,000 calories extra in those three days.  I know it’s likely just some water vs. sodium kinda thing.  But, knowing these things didn’t prevent me from binge-ing last night.  I’d been doing so good too…don’t remember the last time I binged.  It just gets so depressing sometimes when you work your butt off only to gain anyway.  The pounds come back on sooooo easily and soooooo quickly, it just isn’t fair.

So, here I go AGAIN.  Day one of being binge free and staying OP.  The weight will come off again, without doubt.  I just HATE the little setbacks we so often experience.  Why couldn’t my stupid body just have maintained?  I mean seriously, a 5 lb. gain in a three day period?

So here’s me brushing off my knees from my current fall, and moving on.

Good news is that Blizzcon was PHENOMENAL!!!!!!  OMG we had the best time ever.  I need to find the cable for my camera so that I can upload pics.  My son Nick made a diorama out of polymer clay for their diorama contest and won 2nd place!  His prizes were a new HD graphics card from ATI Radeon, a wireless adapter for the Xbox 360, and a free ticket to Blizzcon.  So, we were able to give the ticket that I had bought for him to my daughters boyfriend and he came along with us.  It was so incredible, it was like being in Gamer Geek Heaven!  We all had such an awesome time that we are now missing it greatly and can hardly wait for next year’s convetion to arrive.  The atmosphere there was so nice and friendly…it was like we were one big happy, geeky family.

More good news - my son and I did our dojo run Sunday morning.  He had to do two miles, and I didn’t have to do a run at all yet because my belt rank is still low.  Well, we not only got that two miles done….we went for another mile because we were just feeling that darn good about it!  We got in three miles!!!  WOOHOOO!!!  None of the other kids in his class went for three miles.  They did their two and were done with it.  He got lots of congratulations from Sensei and the Sempi’s.  He was so proud of himself, I was thrilled for him!  I got congrats too, but I had run three miles before on my own, my son never has.  It was his shining moment.  He asked that I not tell his dad because he wanted to be the one to tell him when he called that night.  He now has tasted victory and knows how flippin’ sweet it feels to push yourself to do something you think you can’t….I hope that he will hold that feeling close to his heart and use it to help himself in the future when confronted with an obstacle.

Now, onto the bad news.  I completely forgot to do my weigh in before we left at zero dark thirty Friday morning.  Weighed myself yesterday and have gained a full 5 lbs!!!!  Boo!!!!  Hiss!!!!!  With all the standing around, running, and walking I did Friday through Sunday, you’d think I would’ve at least been able to maintain.  But nooooooooo….a 5 lb. gain!  OMG where did that come from?

Anyway, I’m not beating myself up about it.  We had an AWESOME time and I wouldn’t take it back for anything.  I just have a bit of a small set back that I’ve got to work hard at to make go away.  No big deal, I’ll get there.

I liked this and wanted to share it with you all.  :o)

God Said NO!!

I asked God to take away my habit.

God said, No.

It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, No.  Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn’t granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, No.

I give you blessings;
Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from
worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things
that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said…Ahhhh,
finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS
DON’T THROW IT AWAY

May God Bless You,

‘To the world you might be one person,
But to one person you just might be the world’

‘May the Lord Bless you and keep you, May the Lord Make his face shine upon you,
And give you Peace……Forever’

‘Good friends are like stars…
You don’t always see them, But you know they are always there.

I’ve been thinking lately, that it’s all well and good that we set and keep weekly goals.  Many of us even have monthly goals, or goals that we’ve set to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain day.  For instance, I’ve got a goal set for this Friday (Blizzcon day for me…next best thing to a holiday hehe) to get to 208 lbs.  For Halloween I want to get to 199 (Onderland, here I come!!!!), Thanksgiving is 190, Christmas is 180.  These goals are soooo important because it’s what helps to give us motivation to get where we need to go.

So often though, we overlook our daily goals in favor of the bigger picture and I think that is probably not a good thing.  I think we need to start focusing on the everyday goals and by doing so it’ll help us get to our bigger picture.  I think it’s a good idea to set a new goal each and every day….even if that goal is one we set each day…I think it’s important to wake up and say “just for today”.  For instance, just for today I am going to eat according to my plan and drink a minimum of 190 oz. of water.  Just for today I am going to get my strength training, run & karate class in.  Just for today I am going to work harder than I did yesterday and I am going to stick to my plan, no matter what.  Just for today!  I am pretty sure that the various different twelve step programs abide by this rule, and I know that these programs must work or they wouldn’t have been around for as long as they have.

So, I ask you…what short-term goal can you commit to right now that will help you reach your larger goals…..just for today?

My weigh in yesterday put me at 210 lbs. for a loss of 4 lbs. the previous week.  That is a grand total loss of 128 lbs. so far!!!  WOOOT!!!  Man…I seriously wish I could keep losing 4 lbs. each week because then before long I’d be at my ultimate goal lol.  But, you all know how it goes.  Likely next week I’ll only show a 1 lb. loss.  It’s all good though, because the weight is going down nicely.  Here is a pic of info from my fitday program:

I’ve only been keeping track on this program since 7/21, so it doesn’t show all the way back to when I weighed 338 lbs. but that’s okay.  You know that my weekly average is going to be changing as I go along, so those projected weights for 4 & 12 weeks aren’t accurate but they’re nice to see.  If I can continue on losing weight at a fairly good pace, I shouldn’t be too far behind those projected numbers.

Going out in a little bit here to take my son back to LaLadera park so he can get in a two mile run and I can get in my three miles.  Going to go Wednesday too.  The actual run where it counts is going to be on the 12th, this next Sunday.  It’s going to be our last chance to get any training in because, some of you may remember, we’re GOING TO BLIZZCON!!!!!

It’s finally here!  This Friday and Saturday, the 10th & 11th.  We will finally be experiencing it in all it’s splendor.  As some of you may remember from a previous post, I was lucky enough to buy tickets for me, and two of my sons…my two oldest.  My oldest turns 16 on the 12th of October, so it is a birthday present for him, and my 12 1/2 year old wants to go too so it is a pre-present for his black belt test (let’s all pray he passes hehe).  We are so damn excited!  We are only about an hour drive away but rented a hotel room for Friday night just for the fun of it.  The boys have never stayed in a hotel and are excited about that part of it too.  I am not looking forward to the crowd of 12,000 people!  But, they’re all fellow Blizzard fans and it’ll be fun getting to met people with the same interests. It’s finally here!!!!

WE’RE GOING TO BLIZZCON!!!!!!

I am really coming to LOVE running.  I never thought it possible, for me to ever enjoy running.  But I am…I truly am!  On the 12th my son has to run two miles as one of the requirements to pass his black belt test on the 25th.  Today I took him to the park where the run is going to be held and we ran it.  I don’t like surprises, so I wanted to know what we’re going to be in for.  No..I do not have to run it with him, but his dad always does the runs with him and I am not going to leave him high and dry to have to do it by himself just because his dad is in Iraq.  So, that is the biggest reason why I took up running a few weeks ago.  I wanted to train so that I could run with him on the 12th.  Little knowing that running would become something so big and important to me…not knowing that I would actually come to love it.  My heal is still not all the way better and I couldn’t comfortably wear my shoes the normal way today.  I instead had to shove the heal down on the right shoe and wore it kind of like a slipper.  I tied the laces on that shoe a little tight so that it wouldn’t fall off my foot as I ran.  I was a little worried at first that it wouldn’t work, but it worked fine.  I really liked the track there because it is a dirt track and I can really feel the difference.  It does have a good hill on it, and that intimidated me at first, but I didn’t let it stop me.  We ran the two miles and I let my son stop so that he could go hang out with his friend and his brothers and sister who were also there (I didn’t make them run with us).  I figured I’d run another half a mile so that I could get in the same distance as I did on my last run…thing is, I didn’t stop there either!  I ran yet another half mile!!!  I RAN FOR THREE MILES!!!!!  OMG I cannot begin to describe the elation I felt in doing so, either.  It was AWESOME!!!  I can now say that I have RAN a 5k…not just walked it, or wogged it…but RAN it!  I thought of two of my buddies here, Jo & WonderWoman…whom I know both run.  I thought of how I’d always so greatly admired them for being able to run the distances that they run.  I remember awhile back WonderWoman posting about running two miles one day and I thought that seemed so impossible to do…and then I remember her posting that she ran three and I thought if the two sounded impossible, how much more so impossible that three miles seemed.  Yet here I was doing it myself!  It’s just complete and utter joy.  How odd it is really…I used to think runners were a bit off their rockers…a bit on the crazy side…I mean, who could truly love running?!?  LOL  Well, here I am one of them now.  When I am not running I think about the next time that I will be running and I actually feel excitement now…not dread.  It is really, really, really cool.  I know how crazy this all sounds…if the me of a year or two ago could see me now!  Wow, what she would be thinking!  LOL  I’ve gone and surprised myself.  I know it seems like I’m a bit overreacting…I mean, after all, I didn’t just run a marathon.  I can’t help it though.  It’s just that incredible.

It took me about 45 minutes to run that three miles.  I wouldn’t have passed a Marine Corps PFT, as they’ve got to do it in under 30 minutes.  My husband ran it in just over 21 minutes the last time he ran it.  But, as he would say, I am NOT a Marine and don’t need to be expecting myself to work up to their standards.  At least not this early in the game.

For now, I am simply exstatic to have run three miles and I am going to contine running three miles when I do run.  I will build my speed over time, it will come…just as the distance has come to me over time.  No worries, just happiness in my accomplishing something that in my life is so BIG.

Some running quotes I like:

Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.   - Doug Larson

Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder.
William Sigei

Ask yourself: “Can I give more?”. The answer is usually: “Yes”.
Paul Tergat

Pain is temporary, pride is forever!
Anonymous

When people ask me why I run, I tell them, there’s not really a reason, it’s just the adrenalin when you start, and the feeling when you cross that finish line, and know that you are a winner no matter what place you got.
Courtney Parsons

I believe in the runner’s high, and I believe that those who are passionate about running are the ones who experience it to the fullest degree possible. To me, the runner’s high is a sensational reaction to a great run! It’s an exhilarating feeling of satisfaction and achievement. It’s like being on top of the world, and truthfully… there’s nothing else quite like it!
Sasha Azevedo

Running has never failed to give me great end results, and that’s why I keep coming back for more!
Sasha Azevedo

Running is one the best solutions to a clear mind.
Sasha Azevedo

People ask why I run. I say, “If you have to ask, you will never understand”. It is something only those select few know. Those who put themselves through pain, but know, deep down, how good it really feels.
Erin Leonard